


i don't blame you for being you [you can't blame me for hating it]

by icerose92



Category: The Facts of Life
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 13:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15752904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icerose92/pseuds/icerose92
Summary: When Blair hears of an apparent date gone right between Jo and Nancy, she does the only thing she can think to do: make Jo take her on a date, too. There’s no way that can go wrong, right?





	i don't blame you for being you [you can't blame me for hating it]

**Author's Note:**

> Set in season 4, after Best Sister, but before graduation.
> 
> Title comes from A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More "Touch Me" by Fall Out Boy.
> 
> This is my first FoL fic; I began it in 2013, and finally decided to finish.

When Blair caught Nancy Olson sending a flirtatious wink to Jo in first period Chemistry, her immediate thought was that it could have easily been written off as a fluke, a trick her mind was playing on her.

 

When she spied Jo smiling shyly back, Blair thought she just might faint, but again, it could have easily been a fluke, a method her brain was trying to use to purge her of this love she was harboring for her roommate.

 

But at lunch, when Blair overheard Tootie and Natalie - aka The Snoop Sisters - whispering frantically that Jo had asked Nancy on a date the night before, Blair could take it no longer.

 

Hands on her hips, Blair strode up to Jo in the otherwise empty kitchen. “Did you ask Nancy Olson out on a date?”

 

Jo’s cheeks turned pink, and she refused to meet Blair’s glare as she scrubbed harder at the casserole dish in her hand. “What’s it to ya?” She muttered.

 

It was no secret at Eastland - or Bates and Langley, for that matter – that Jo preferred the company of females. A girl couldn’t ride into school on a motorcycle and prance around in denim, leather, and plaid without getting a reputation. Blair was fine with it; she was as open-minded as the next person. Okay, it helped that she was a tad in love with Jo. But Blair had hoped, had _prayed_ that, if Jo refused to ask _her_ on a date, she would have still had higher standards than the likes of _Nancy Olson_.

 

“So it’s true?” Blair demanded. She planted her hands on the sink in front of Jo. “You asked Nancy out on a date.”

 

“Jeez, word sure does travel fast around here,” Jo exclaimed, finally looking up. Her blush had spread up from her neck and into the tips of her ears. If Blair hadn’t been so livid, she might have allowed herself to dwell on how adorable Jo was in this moment. “Yes, okay, I asked Nancy out on a date. Ya happy now?”

 

“No.” Blair pouted resolutely. “Why?”

 

Jo waved a hand dismissively, sending soap suds into the air. “Why do you care?”

 

Blair softened her approach, knowing full well she’d never get through to Jo if she came off as angry. “Because, Jo. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt, and…well, you know how Nancy is.”

 

It was, Blair realized half a second too late, the exact wrong thing to say. Jo huffed and shoved her hands back into the sink, splashing water onto the counter. “I like her,” she said tightly. “She’s nice to me.”

 

Blair pursed her lips and flicked some soap suds off of her sleeve. She decided, once again, to change her approach to the matter. “It must have been awfully humiliating when she said no.”

 

Jo didn’t pause in her actions, but she did raise her head slightly, obviously confused. “What?”

 

Blair flipped her hair. She crossed her arms and propped her hip on the counter for support. “You realize, of course, that Nancy is straight,” she said indignantly, like it was the most obvious thing that Jo could have ever heard in her life. “As in, she only dates _men_.”

 

“I know what ‘straight’ means, Blair,” Jo snapped. She slammed the casserole dish into the drainer and braced her hands on the edge of the sink. “And for your information, she said yes.”

 

Blair’s mouth dropped opened. She hadn’t expected that Nancy would agree to a date with Jo; she had merely been angry at the prospect of Jo choosing Nancy over her, of Jo having even the slightest bit of interest in Nancy. Now it was real, the date was happening, and Blair felt sick. “I’m only trying to help you, Jo,” Blair croaked. Then, before she could stop herself, “She only agreed to go out with you to get back at me for accepting Roger’s invitation to see Baryshnikov.”

 

Jo stared at her, her expression blank, and Blair just barely resisted the urge to clap her hand over her mouth in horror; she had very nearly given away her secret love for Jo, and the one true reason that she was so upset about this cockamamie date.

 

“First of all,” Jo finally growled, making Blair gulp slightly. “That was two years ago.” She snapped her dish cloth from her apron string and began to dry the casserole dish, just to have something to occupy her hands. And because Blair obviously wasn’t going to do it. “Second, what does this date have to do with you? Newsflash, Princess, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

 

“Well, if you’re going to be that way,” Blair shot back defensively. She turned on her heel and strode purposefully to the door. Just before pushing on the door, she looked over her shoulder at Jo. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Jo.”

 

Once the door had stopped swinging behind Blair, Jo slammed her towel on the counter in frustration.

 

Blair Warner could ruin anyone’s good mood.

 

\-----

 

_Curfew isn’t until midnight_.

 

_Curfew isn’t until midnight_.

 

_Curfew. Isn’t. Until. Midnight_.

 

Her mantra had started at eleven, an hour and a half later than Natalie and Tootie had forced Jo to promise that she’d be back (because, apparently, they didn’t trust Nancy any more than Blair did). Jo had left at five to pick Nancy up from her dorm. By Blair’s calculations, Jo should have realized one of two things about an hour into the date.

 

One, Jo would have realized that Blair was right, and Nancy was just playing her in a sadistic attempt to get back at Blair by going through her best friend, and possibly-not-so-secret crush (so she’d been watching too many movies, give her a break). To Blair’s knowledge, Nancy had never shown any interest in Jo, had barely spoken five words to her roommate. Aside from the wink in Chemistry class, Blair had thought that Nancy may have forgotten Jo’s existence.

 

Two, if Jo realizing that Blair was one hundred and ten percent right failed, Blair had counted on Jo realizing that Nancy’s personality was a complete and utter flop. There would be no chemistry between the two, zero conversations, and plenty of awkward silences.

 

The clock flipped to 12:01.

 

Blair’s heart ached.

 

\-----

 

“You missed curfew last night.” Tootie grinned mischievously at Jo. Natalie punched her in the arm. “Ow! What?” Natalie cut her eyes to Blair, dejectedly sorting silverware on the other side of the room. Tootie’s mouth formed a tight ‘o’ before slamming shut, and Natalie tried to hold back her laughter as she pointed her face skyward.

 

“It was no big deal.” Jo shrugged. “The movie was only s’posed to be an hour and a half long, but it was actually _three_ hours.” She sounded agitated at the mix up that was undoubtedly Nancy’s doing, but Blair couldn’t find it in herself to care. “Let me tell ya, I paid five bucks for that movie; we were gonna sit through the whole thing.”

 

Blair mumbled something as Jo passed with a tray of clean dishes.

 

“What’d you say, Blair?” Tootie asked. Natalie hit her again for her naivety.

 

Blair lifted her head and glared openly at Jo. “Is there something ya wanna say, Blair?”

 

“No. I have absolutely nothing to say to you.”

 

Jo opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, the door burst open and Nancy slipped in from the dining room.

 

“Oh, Jo,” she called. Jo quickly set down her tray of dishes, and Nancy grabbed for the hem of her vest, toying with it as she spoke. “I’m glad I caught you. I wanted to thank you again for last night; I had a fabulous time!”

 

Oblivious to the scathing stare at her back, Jo gingerly took Nancy’s fidgeting hands from her uniform and held them tightly to keep them from returning to it. “Hey, it was no problem. I had fun.”

 

Blair’s ears perked up; something in Jo’s tone was off. She didn’t _sound_ like she’d had fun. She actually sounded, Blair chanced to guess, a little miserable. Hope swelled in her chest and spread over her, warming her insides the tiniest bit.

 

“We should definitely go out again sometime.” Nancy tugged excitedly on Jo’s hands.

 

“Uh, yeah.” Jo pulled her hands from Nancy’s as politely as possible. “That sounds great, Nancy, really. I’ll check my, uh, schedule, but I really gotta go or I’ll be late for calculus.”

 

“Okay.” Nancy pulled Jo into a forceful hug. “I’ll see you later!”

 

Jo glanced to Blair, then lowered her eyes and hastily fled the kitchen. Blair stared up the stairs after her as Nancy conversed politely with Natalie and Tootie. Jo hadn’t seemed particularly thrilled to see Nancy. In fact, it appeared that Jo would have been perfectly content with never seeing Nancy Olson ever again.

 

“I had such a lovely time.” Blair jumped; Natalie and Tootie were gone; Nancy was standing in front of her, and Blair had been polishing the same spoon for five minutes.

 

“Did you?” Blair asked, icy sarcasm clinging to each syllable.

 

“Oh, yes.” Nancy swiped a fork from Blair’s tray and twirled it absently, a goofy smile plastered to her face. “You know, when Jo first asked me out, I said yes out of pity.” Blair twisted her apron in her hands. “She was so nervous, I just didn’t have the heart to say no. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy myself last night.” She flicked her eyes up to Blair’s, and Blair found herself not liking Nancy’s suggestive tone. At all. Jo had missed curfew by a mile, and deep down Blair had known what that must have meant; she didn’t need it thrown in her face. “Jo is such a…such a-”

 

“Barbarian?” Blair supplied, faking a smile and secretly hoping that Jo had been…well, herself on the date. Nancy deserved it. “Neanderthal?”

 

“Gentleman,” Nancy finished, swooning a bit.

 

Blair dropped the handful of forks she’d just picked up. They clattered about nosily, but Blair didn’t hear any of it. “Are we talking about the same Jo? Jo _Polniaczek_?” The last thing that Blair wanted to know was that Jo could be civilized on a date – and towards Nancy of all people. She was trying to rid herself of these ridiculous fantasies, not create more.

 

“Of course!” Nancy helped Blair gather the dropped utensils littering the counter. “She was so sweet, so romantic, and so gentle.” Blair nearly gagged. “Heck, I’d even go so far as to say she was chivalrous.”

 

“Do tell,” Blair muttered sarcastically. Though she wasn’t finished with it, she picked up the tray of silverware and moved to the sink. Nancy, to Blair’s chagrin, followed right behind her.

 

“She’s just so smart,” Nancy rattled on. “And insightful. And that goodnight kiss… _wow_.”

 

“Nancy, dear.” Blair turned sharply from where she stood and dabbed at the corner of her own mouth. “You’re drooling.”

 

Nancy grinned and looked down at her hands. “I’m rambling, I know.” She stopped, but Blair could tell that there was more on the tip of her tongue. She opened her mouth as she moved to the door, not caring about what she had to say and hoping to interrupt whatever it was, but Nancy continued. “It’s just that she’s so easy to fall in love with and-” She stopped again when she noticed Blair stumble. “Blair?”

 

Blair’s eyes widened. She couldn’t have heard correctly. There was absolutely no way that Nancy had just said that Jo was easy to fall in love with. Blair’s heart raced. Nancy was _in love_ with Jo? Did Jo feel the same way about Nancy? _Could_ Jo feel the same way about Nancy? She breathed in slowly to compose herself before turning around; the last thing she needed was to let on that _she_ also loved Jo. “You’re in love with Jo?” She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. But mostly, she wanted to drag Jo out of her calculus class, slap some sense into her, and confess everything she’d held inside since Jo’s first semester at Eastland – not necessarily in that order.

 

Nancy rubbed her chin absently and glanced at her watch. “Well, no. But after a couple more nights like last night, I definitely could!”

 

Again, Blair’s stomach lurched painfully. It was like Nancy knew all of her fears of what could have happened last night, and was just slowly confirming all of them, dragging out Blair’s pain for her own twisted amusement. Jo hadn’t gotten in until well past one that morning. She and Nancy could have been up to any number of things since Jo had picked Nancy up at five. Had they really been stuck in a movie for almost three hours, or had they…

 

Blair couldn’t finish the thought. She didn’t have class for another hour, but she hurriedly excused herself anyways.

 

Blair willed her feet to pick themselves up as she made her way up the stairs to gather her things for her art class. It had hurt to hear of the date from Natalie and Tootie; she’d begun to think of Jo as her friend, and didn’t friends tell each other things like this? It had hurt even more when Jo had come home nearly two hours late; for all Blair knew, the two could have been anywhere from a movie theater to make-out mountain to Nancy’s dorm room.

 

Blair thought she would have preferred them both in a ditch, but that seemed a bit cruel.

 

But, Blair thought as she made her way out the backdoor, what had hurt the most out of the whole debacle was that Nancy had gotten to see this whole new side of Jo that Blair didn’t get the privilege to. A side that Blair hadn’t even known existed until this morning. Sweet, romantic, gentle, chivalrous…why did Blair only get rude, callous, bitter, _sometimes_ mildly pleasant?

 

Blair sighed and looked from her shoes to the path in front of her, unsure of how long she’d been wandering the campus. Up ahead, it formed an intersection, and beyond that, the math and sciences building loomed. As Blair drew closer, Jo burst through the front door, Nancy close behind. Nancy grabbed Jo’s hand and giggled at a face Jo was pulling. Blair watched, her heart breaking; maybe she’d been wrong about Jo being unhappy to see Nancy this morning. Maybe it had just been lingering morning grumpiness. Blair didn’t blink as Jo pulled Nancy close, as Nancy’s lips brushed Jo’s cheek tenderly, and as they hugged for a long moment before parting and heading their separate ways.

 

Blair’s expression darkened. Something had to be done.

 

\-----

 

Blair slammed her books down on the desk that Jo’s homework was currently occupying. Tootie, on her bed, and Natalie, on Jo’s bed, both jumped. Jo barely spared a glance, but Blair knew she had Jo’s attention when she stopped writing.

 

“Boy, Blair,” Tootie mused. She set her English textbook aside and leaned forward curiously, nearly pitching forward off of her bunk in the process. “You look mad!”

 

Blair set her jaw. Her glare silenced Tootie, but the younger girl managed to lean forward a little farther.

 

“In the words of our dearest Tootie,” Natalie piped up. She dropped her notebook and cleared her throat. “Jo is in troooouble.”

 

Angered further by Jo’s insistence on steadily ignoring her, Blair pointed to the door. “Natalie, Tootie, please leave Jo and I alone.”

 

Tootie sighed. She hopped to the floor and tugged at Natalie’s arm.

 

“What?” Natalie feigned chest pains. “ _Tootie_ doesn’t watch the newest development in the train wreck of Jo and Blair’s attempted friendship? Alert the press!”

 

Tootie scoffed. “Nat, you _are_ the press.” Natalie nodded enthusiastically in agreement. “We’re not going to win this one. We never do.”

 

Natalie turned before closing the door. “Just try not to splatter too much blood. We still need to paint from last time.” When she didn’t receive even a hint of a smile, Natalie ducked her head and quickly closed the door with a cheerful, “Mazel Tov!”

 

Once the door was closed, Blair rounded on Jo again. Jo hadn’t looked up from her math book, hadn’t even put her pencil down, but Blair could tell that she was waiting.

 

“Nancy said that you’re gentle.” She was unable to keep the mocking tone from her voice, and she nearly winced with regret; she didn’t want to mock Jo, she wanted to stop this nonsense.

 

A deep blush colored Jo’s cheeks. Blair crossed her arms and tapped her foot until Jo looked up. “What?” She snapped. “What do you want me to say?”

 

_Tell me that you don’t love her_. Blair continued with disdain. “She also said that you’re romantic, chivalrous, sweet, and-” Blair stopped short; it wouldn’t bode well to tell Jo the last thing that Nancy had said. Jo’s blush began to recede just as her grin slowly took over the greater portion of her face. No way did she want to tell Jo and inflate her ego a little more, or push her closer to Nancy.

 

Blair pressed her lips together.

 

“And?” Jo prodded, dragging the word out unnecessarily. She dropped her pencil, crossed her arms, and leaned back in her chair.

 

Blair fumed; Jo looked so smug, Blair wanted nothing more than to smack the smirk right off of her face. “Nothing,” she uttered.

 

“No, no.” Jo stared at Blair expectantly. “It was more than _nothing_. Spill, Princess.”

 

Blair huffed and turned her back to Jo. Why did she have to have such a big mouth? Why did Jo have to be so nosey? She took a deep breath and, when she thought she could handle Jo’s snide look with poise, she whirled around again. Jo still wore a slight smirk, but the gleam in her eyes was unmistakably one of concern, and Blair realized with horror that her own eyes were brimmed with tears.

 

Jo uncrossed her arms and opened her mouth, but Blair spoke up, her voice housing more of whimper than she would have liked. “Nancy said that you’re easy to fall in love with.”

 

Jo blanched a moment before her blush crept up on her again and the remnants of her smirk fell away. She turned and fiddled with the papers that were strewn across the desk. “Well,” she managed. She swallowed hard and refused to meet Blair’s eyes. “How ‘bout that.” Blair watched the thoughts racing across Jo’s face and the _panic_ flashing in her eyes.

 

Despite that, Blair just couldn’t help but spit, “That’s all you have to say?”

 

Jo frowned up at her. “What am I s’posed to say? I can’t help how she feels; what exactly do you want me to say about it?”

 

“I want you to prove it to me!”

 

The words were out before Blair could stop them. They hung awkwardly between she and Jo, making the air thick, hard to breathe, and Blair just couldn’t figure out Jo’s expression. Her mouth hung open uselessly while Blair’s pressed into a thin line, willing itself not to let anything else slip.

 

“I…” Jo tried, but words failed her and she slammed her mouth shut.

 

“I want you to prove it to me,” Blair whispered again, if only to break the silence.

 

Jo looked vulnerable and lost, and Blair thought that maybe that was a little bit of what Nancy got to see; she was already winning. “How?” Jo rasped.

 

“I don’t see it.” It wasn’t a lie exactly; she didn’t see the things that Nancy saw, so how could she possibly know? “So take me on a date. Show me what you showed Nancy.” She willed her blush down at her unintended innuendo. “Prove to me that you’re easy to fall in love with.”

 

“ _Me_? Take _you_ on a date?” Jo snorted.

 

Blair was not to be deterred. “Take me on the exact same date you took Nancy on.”

 

Jo narrowed her eyes. She was being backed into a corner, she could feel it. This was a trick; it was going to come back and bite her in the ass. Hard. “The _exact same date_?” Blair nodded, and Jo shrugged, not one to turn down a challenge, especially from Blair. She stood and held out her hand for Blair to shake. “Blair Warner, prepare to fall head over heels.”

 

Blair tried desperately to turn her smile into a triumphant smirk. _Too late_.

 

\-----

 

She’d been on so many dates since being at Eastland that she’d almost lost count. She couldn’t remember all of their names. She couldn’t remember the movies they’d seen, or the entrees she’d ordered. In the last few months alone, she’d been out with so many Bates boys and Langley men that they’d all begun to blur together.

 

So why was Blair so nervous about one measly date? And a date with Jo Polniaczek of all people?

 

Over the past week, Blair had made Jo ask her on a date formally, like she had for Nancy. She laid down the rules – and there was only one; do everything that Jo and Nancy had done. She wanted a complete recreation, she wanted to see the entire side of Jo that Nancy had seen, and she could tell that Jo thought she was more than a little psycho but it didn’t matter.

 

_In two hours_ , she thought, checking her hair in the mirror again. _I will be on a date with Jo_. She tugged at the hem of her blouse, willing it to lay perfectly on her curves. She tucked it into her skirt, then examined the look critically. She’d been waiting for this moment since Jo had threatened to park that grungy motorcycle on her face. In that moment, Blair had known that Jo was different; she wouldn’t be a pushover like the other girls. Jo would treat her like a person, not a Barbie doll. Jo wouldn’t stumble over her words, she would challenge Blair. Blair had been waiting her entire life for someone like Jo to come along.

 

She hadn’t intended for her crush to go this far, to sink into her heart and blossom into love, and she certainly hadn’t expected to ever go on a date with the other girl. With graduation mere weeks away, Blair had begun to despair that she may never get this chance, and that Jo would simply walk right out of her life, never to be heard from again. This date had to be perfect.

 

Blair whined and pulled her blouse and skirt off. None of this was working. The combinations were all wrong. She inspected her wardrobe; Jo had seen her in everything she owned. Blair ran her hands through her hair, groaned, and hurried to the mirror to fix the damage.

 

This night was going to be an absolute disaster.

 

She wished Mrs. Garrett were there to help her.

 

There was a knock at the door, but before Blair could panic about Jo being early, Tootie’s voice floated through, soft and hesitant. “Blair?”

 

Natalie’s voice followed, stronger than the first. “You okay?”

 

Blair shrugged on a robe and rushed to the door. “Please help me,” she whined pitifully once her friends were in sight.

 

The Snoop Sisters rolled their eyes at each other and shouldered past Blair. Natalie led Blair to her bed and Tootie took point at the closet.

 

“Who is it tonight?” Tootie asked, more as a point of reference for Blair’s outfit than an insult.

 

Blair hesitated; they would understand. They were her friends; they might mock her, but they wouldn’t be hateful about this. Blair and Jo did stupid stuff like this all the time, making bets and dares, causing mayhem in their circle. This could easily be brushed off as one of those stupid little things, especially since that’s what it appeared to be to Jo. Blair inhaled through her nose before she said, “Jo,” as confidently and nonchalantly as possible.

 

Tootie scrunched her nose in thought. After a moment, she turned to Natalie, who was tapping her chin thoughtfully, for help. Natalie regarded Blair critically, and Blair felt her cheeks warm.

 

“Joe Henson?” Natalie asked, ticking off names on her fingers. “Joe Davis? Joe Welborn? Be a little more specific, would’ja?”

 

Blair looked at her hands bashfully. She realized – not for the first time – that Jo’s name was easily misconstrued as a guy’s. “Polniaczek.”

 

Tootie and Natalie were silent. Blair could feel their eyes boring into the top of her head, but she refused to look at them. She knew her friends well enough to know when they had stopped staring at her and had started gaping at each other, and she took a moment to breathe.

 

Then, they were laughing at her, doubled over and holding their sides. Blair’s head shot up angrily.

 

This was the worst idea ever.

 

Natalie wiped a tear, an actual fucking tear, from her now red cheek. “Tootie,” she wheezed. “You…you owe me twenty bucks.” Then, she succumbed to another giggle fit.

 

“And what, may I ask, is so funny?” Blair stood and waited with her hands on her hips.

 

Tootie gestured blindly between Jo and Blair’s beds and babbled incoherently.

 

Blair crossed her arms as tears of embarrassment pricked at her eyes. “Guys, this isn’t funny!”

 

Natalie gripped the edge of the desk with one hand and a stitch in her side with the other. “Tootie,” she rasped, waving at the closet. “Get the…get the thing!”

 

Tootie rummaged through the back of Blair’s closet. Blair watched silently, and surreptitiously tried to wipe away a falling tear. Natalie had gotten her laughter under control, and stood beside Blair silently, palming Blair’s shoulder softly. Blair barely restrained herself from shrugging it off. Tootie spread something out on Blair’s bed.

 

“Wear that one,” Natalie whispered. She squeezed Blair’s shoulder. “Trust us.”

 

Blair studied the black dress as her friends left. She was vaguely aware of Tootie slipping Natalie a twenty dollar bill. The dress was simple; it fell just above the knee, showing a little more leg than Blair was usually comfortable with on a date, and only covered one shoulder. She’d bought it for a date that had fallen through last minute, and, subsequently, Jo had only seen her in it when she was modeling it beforehand, and she hadn’t even been paying attention then. She ran her finger over the bottom hem. Natalie and Tootie had been adamant about _this_ dress, and it had seemed as though they had already planned this.

 

Like they knew she and Jo would end up going on a date together.

 

Blair smiled absently, pondering possible accessories. She tried to think of what Natalie and Tootie would choose for her. Since they’d had their hearts set on the dress, it couldn’t hurt to pair it with the diamond earrings and necklace she’d originally planned to wear with it before.

 

Once Blair had dabbed a bit of Aviance in all the right places, she sat at the desk to wait.

 

_Jo Polniaczek, prepare to be dazzled_.

 

\-----

 

When the knock on the door finally came – surprisingly right on time – Blair tried to pace herself on her way to answer it; things would go south pretty quickly if she appeared overeager. When the door opened, Blair couldn’t help but wonder when Jo had changed her clothes. When she’d left the room early that morning, she’d been dressed in old, paint-splattered, fading jeans and a sweatshirt.

 

Now, Jo stood before her with her usual ponytail. Her black jeans were new, and obviously men’s, but they fit Jo just right; an expensive looking black leather belt wound through her belt loops. She had on a white button down shirt; the top two buttons were opened, showing the very top of a black A-shirt, and it was tucked into her jeans. Her leather jacket and her boots finished off Jo’s look. Blair’s eyes skirted from Jo’s apparel to the single red daisy clutched between her fingers, and her heart swelled; Ms. G didn’t grow red daisies, and just the thought of Jo thinking ahead for a flower instead of hastily picking one because she’d forgotten made her stupidly happy.

 

Silently, Jo held the daisy out. Blair plucked it gingerly from Jo’s fingers, letting her own fingers graze casually over the back of Jo’s hand. She was mildly surprised to feel Jo’s hand trembling, but her elation over Jo not being able to take her eyes off of her trumped any other emotion Blair might have been feeling.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Blair whispered. She smelled the flower. “Thank you.”

 

Wordlessly, Jo took the flower back. Blair opened her mouth to protest until Jo snapped the stem in half and, almost shyly, tucked the flower behind Blair’s ear. Blair bit her lip, wondering if Jo was going to say a word tonight. They’d mostly avoided speaking to each other since the blowout over Blair making Jo ask her formally for a date, but Jo had made herself scarce in the past week; she left early every morning before the other girls awoke, disappeared after classes were finished, and came in every night close to - or even after, in some cases - curfew.

 

Jo tossed the excess stem in the waste basket by the door. “Not as beautiful as you,” she said finally. It was said so quietly, but Blair heard it, and she felt her heart skip. She glanced to her feet, trying to hide her ridiculously large smile. Jo held out her hand. “Ready?”

 

Blair took Jo’s hand and intertwined their fingers.

 

\-----

 

The drive to the restaurant was mostly silent. Blair had been harboring a secret hope that they would be taking Jo’s motorcycle, but as it turned out, Jo had borrowed a car from someone. They talked briefly about classes, laughed at how Natalie and Tootie had watched them leave through the tiny window in the kitchen door, and what movie Blair would like to see after dinner.

 

Never once did Jo let go of her hand, even as she changed gears in the car.

 

They pulled into the second nicest steakhouse in Peekskill – deemed second best only because they didn’t serve appetizers or desserts – and Blair glanced at Jo warily as they walked the parking lot, wondering if she had the money to cover the bill. Once they were inside, Jo pulled Blair’s chair out for her, and the waitress asked for their drink orders.

 

And that’s where the trouble started.

 

“I’ll have a coke.” The waitress nodded and Jo flipped her menu open.

 

Blair glanced at Jo, and then smiled up at the waitress. “Water, please.”

 

As she turned to leave, Jo caught the cuff of her sleeve tightly. “Hold on there, Flo.” She looked at Blair. “Is that _really_ what you want?” When Blair, too busy staring in horror at Jo’s hand on the woman’s sleeve, didn’t answer, Jo amended her drink choice for her. “The lady will have sweet tea.”

 

The waitress looked uncertain, but she smoothed her sleeve where Jo had rumpled it and strode away quickly.

 

When she was gone, Blair’s foot lashed out angrily, catching Jo’s shin. Jo yelped in surprise and jumped, banging her knee on the table. The families nearest them turned to stare. “What’d ya do that for?” Jo hissed. She rubbed at her knee furiously; hitting it on the table had hurt far worse than Blair’s kick.

 

Blair crossed her legs and glared dangerously at Jo. “ _That_ ,” she stated primly. “Was for changing my order, like I’m some sort of invalid; you hitting your knee was a bonus for being so uncouth.”

 

“Jeez, sorry.”

 

“I can order for myself. I wanted water, so I asked for water; it doesn’t fill me up like sweet or carbonated beverages.” Again, it wasn’t _really_ a lie.

 

“Cut the crap, Blair.” Jo glared down at her menu, and suddenly Blair found herself missing the Jo that had tucked the daisy into her hair, the Jo with open, smiling eyes. “You ordered water because you think I don’t have any money, and the water is free.”

 

Blair huffed, angry and embarrassed that she’d been found out. “Well, excuse me for trying to look out for you.”

 

“Yeah, well knock it off.” Jo perused the menu for a moment. When the waitress returned with their drinks, Jo pointed menacingly at Blair, using her menu to hide it from the already terrified woman. “Don’t you dare order a salad,” she murmured. “I have plenty of money, so order whatever the hell you _really_ want.”

 

“What if I _really_ want a salad?” Blair asked through clenched teeth, thoroughly mortified by Jo’s behavior, even if it was mostly hidden by her menu.

 

“Then that’s crap and you know it,” Jo griped.

 

Blair forced a smile. “ _Fine_.”

 

“Is…everything okay?” The waitress asked, more to Blair than Jo. The unspoken _is your date bothering you? Do you need the cops?_ was heard clearly. She was trying to not look appalled, but Blair could tell that she was bothered by their bickering.

 

“Just peachy,” Blair hummed. She snapped her menu shut and handed it to the woman. “I’ll take the most expensive item on the menu, please.”

 

Jo frowned at Blair’s petulance and threw her menu up. “Lasagna,” she grumbled as the menu was plucked delicately from her hand. Blair bounced her foot and tried to hide the hurt she was feeling. She’d wanted the night to be perfect. She’d wanted the night to _work_. They were supposed to confess their undying love for one another and ride off into the night on Jo’s motorcycle.

 

But Jo hadn’t driven her motorcycle. And the night most certainly was _not_ working.

 

“Don’t give me that look.”

 

Blair feigned innocence with a shrug, but she didn’t look away. “What look?”

 

Jo sat back and pointed to Blair’s face. “ _That_ look; the one that makes it so obvious that you want me gone. That same look you gave me when we first met.”

 

Blair looked away. She knew what look Jo was referring to, but her date had it all wrong. She didn’t want Jo to leave; it was a look that she’d caught herself giving when she thought that Jo was an idiot, when she was being rude and insufferable, but when she knew that, without a doubt, she couldn’t love Jo any more than she did in that moment. Just because Jo was simply Jo.

 

“I don’t have to be here, ya know.” Jo quieted when she felt the waitress near, dropping their plates before hurrying off. “I could have found something else to do.”

 

Blair tried to take comfort in the fact that Jo hadn’t said _something better to do_ as she looked down guiltily at her sirloin and lobster platter, knowing she’d never be able to eat it all. “I know,” she murmured. _I’m glad you didn’t_.

 

Over the meal, they attempted small talk, and Jo helped Blair eat her lobster when the blonde began to look sick. When the check came, Jo swiped it from the table, forcing the waitress to stay until she’d stuffed a sufficient amount of bills into the folder for the bill and a tip – mostly for putting up with their bickering – and she handed it directly back to the woman.

 

Blair held her tongue and followed Jo out to the car. They didn’t hold hands across the parking lot, or in the car on the way to the cinema, or even in line to get snacks. Blair was disappointed, but figured it was her fault for ruining the date in the first place.

 

Jo only bought them one soda to share, and Blair thought about pressing for popcorn – Jo had insisted she get what she wanted in the restaurant, why not here too? – but she remembered that Jo hadn’t even asked her what she wanted, and Blair knew that, in Jo-land, that meant she truly was running low on funds for the night. She kept her mouth closed.

 

Jo led them to the back of the cinema; the movie Blair had picked had been out for quite a while, so the theater was empty save for a family of three at the opposite wall in the third row. Blair gulped; when her other dates led her to the back row, it usually meant they were hoping to get lucky, thus leading her to end the night early. Would Jo try that? Did she _want_ Jo to try that?

 

…had Jo tried that with Nancy?

 

Blair shook her head to clear it.

 

When they were seated, Jo reached across Blair and put the soda in her cup holder. Blair smiled, realizing that Jo had gotten the drink just for her instead of for them to share. Blair picked the cup up, took a sip, and moved to put it in the cup holder between them, but Jo covered it with her hand and shook her head. Blair shrugged and returned it to the holder Jo had put it in.

 

When the lights dimmed, Blair glanced from the screen to Jo, startled to see her date openly staring at her. She raised a questioning eyebrow, and Jo lifted the middle armrest. Blair didn’t have time to decide whether or not to be disappointed that Jo turned out to be like all of the rest of her dates before Jo’s arm slipped easily around her shoulders.

 

“Is…is this okay?”

 

Blair looked to Jo’s hand; it wasn’t inching down, it wasn’t slipping under the top of her dress. It was just sitting motionless on her shoulder. She nodded, and in turn laid her hand on Jo’s thigh and her head on Jo’s shoulder. Jo enveloped Blair’s hand with her free one.

 

Maybe the night could be salvaged.

 

\-----

 

Half-way through the movie, when Jo pressed a hesitant kiss to her cheek, Blair came to the staggering realization that it wasn’t for her. The fancy dinner, the movie that Jo let her choose, the way Jo’s arm pulled her in close, how her head rested gently on top of Blair’s like it belonged there, the way her hand played idly with Blair’s on her thigh, stroking her palm and caressing each of her fingers in turn; none of it was for her. It was for Nancy. Jo did all of this with Nancy before she did it with Blair, and it made Blair’s heart clench painfully.

 

She pulled her head off of Jo’s shoulder and her hand off of Jo’s thigh. She let Jo’s arm drop from her shoulders. She missed the contact, the warmth, and when Jo asked her if she was alright, she almost cried.

 

“I’m fine.” She kept her eyes on the screen, knowing that if she looked at Jo she’d lose it.

 

“You sure?” Jo reached for her hand, and Blair jerked it away and crossed her arms. “Blair-”

 

“I’m fine. Just watch the movie, Jo.”

 

Jo pulled her hand back and clasped it with her other in her lap, twisting her fingers together in a way that looked painful. Blair glanced at her face from the corner of her eye; Jo almost looked dejected at the knowledge that she’d obviously done something wrong.

 

Blair spent the rest of the movie beating herself up. How could she have been so stupid, believing that all of this was for her? Of course it wasn’t for her. It was for Nancy, Nancy was the one Jo really liked, the one Jo had willingly asked out and spent money on.

 

Blair brushed a tear from her cheek. She’d known this date would be a disaster, and it had been so since the restaurant. She’d been foolish to believe that this would work in any way.

 

When the credits began to roll, Blair rushed out, managing to lose Jo in the crowded lobby. She headed in the opposite direction of their parked car; it was only a thirty minute walk back to Eastland from the theater.

 

She heard heavy footsteps approaching, and then a hand grabbed her elbow to slow her progress. “Hey, Blair, wait up,” Jo panted. Blair shrugged Jo off and continued walking. “Blair!” Jo fell into step beside her. “Hey, I thought everything was going okay. Did I do something?”

 

Blair glared at Jo, and Jo stepped in front of her and held tightly to her biceps to keep her still. “You took me on the same date you took Nancy on!” She knocked Jo’s hands from her arms and stepped back.

 

Slowly, Jo’s jaw dropped. “You’re…you’re kidding me, right?” One look at Blair’s face, and Jo knew she wasn’t. “I don’t understand. You…said that’s what you wanted. So you could see what Nancy saw.”

 

Well, she _knew_ that. But that didn’t keep her from being angry. Understanding that Jo wasn’t going to let her walk home, Blair huffed, “Take me back to Eastland.”

 

Jo reached for Blair, but Blair pulled further away. “C’mon,” Jo said. “Blair-”

 

“Now!”

 

Jo stuffed her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. Blair turned from her and headed for the car. Jo fell into step a few paces behind her, and Blair could hear her feet shuffling, boots barely lifting off the pavement.

 

“I don’t see why you would ask for something if that’s not what you wanted,” Jo mumbled once she’d started the car and pulled out of their parking space. She was unusually calm for the situation.

 

“I just can’t believe that you would be so inconsiderate.” Blair wanted to stop, really she did; she had asked for this after all, but in the end something about it was hitting her the wrong way.

 

She just couldn’t put her finger on _why_.

 

Blair turned to Jo. Jo’s mouth was open slightly, and her eyes moved in time with her thoughts. Her fingers flexed and tapped on the gear shift. Blair itched to reach out and tangle her fingers with Jo’s.

 

But she was angry.

 

The rest of the drive was silent. Back at Eastland, they passed Natalie and Tootie on the stairs. The girls were on their way to a sleepover, and they couldn’t help but comment on how Jo and Blair were home earlier than they’d expected. Jo merely shouldered past them and locked herself in the bathroom.

 

Natalie and Tootie shared a look, then stared at Blair. Blair shrugged. “What did you expect from a neanderthal?”

 

Natalie and Tootie watched Blair ascend the stairs and head for their room. Tootie turned to Natalie. “You owe me ten bucks.”

 

But Natalie wasn’t listening. “I wonder what happened…”

 

Tootie shrugged and pulled Natalie down the stairs. “Who knows with those two? They fight all the time.”

 

Natalie shook her head. “I think this might be different.”

 

“You mean…” Tootie frowned. “You think Blair told her how she feels and Jo didn’t like it?”

 

Natalie gave Tootie a look that made her feel like she was a little kid. “No,” Natalie said. “But…something _did_ happen. And by the look on Jo’s face, it was one-sided.”

 

“D'you think Blair yelled at Jo?” Tootie asked incredulously, beginning to piece everything together. “And…Jo just...took it?” Natalie shrugged half-heartedly.

 

Together, they glanced warily back up the stairs.

 

\-----

 

Blair knew it would probably be smart to go straight to bed and sleep off her anger. She should face Jo with a fresh mind in the morning, and maybe then even she would know why she had suddenly gotten so upset.

 

But she felt there was someone she needed to talk to first.

 

She rapped softly on the door, and when she heard the room’s occupant beckon her, she slowly cracked the door open.

 

“Mrs. Garrett?”

 

“Oh, Blair!” Mrs. Garrett trilled. She was sitting on her bed, reading, and when she heard Blair’s distressed voice, she set her book on her nightstand. “Come in, come in.”

 

Blair closed the door behind her and Mrs. Garrett patted the vacant side of her bed. They sat in silence until Mrs. Garrett gently took Blair’s hand. “Oh, Mrs. Garrett,” Blair said softly. She squeezed the other’s hand tightly for support. “Tonight was just a disaster.” She’d told Mrs. Garrett about her date with Jo earlier in the week. She’d known that Mrs. Garrett would be the only person who wouldn’t criticize her, the one who would be understanding of her feelings, and the one that she could go to if it all went south.

 

“Oh, Blair.” Mrs. Garrett patted the back of Blair’s hand with her free one. “It can’t have been that bad.”

 

“Oh but it was.” Blair swept a tuft of hair from her eyes and fiddled with the hem of her dress, wishing she’d at least thought to change into her pajamas before coming to talk to Mrs. Garrett. “Everything was fine until we were seated at the restaurant.” Blair told Mrs. Garrett everything that had happened, the argument in the restaurant, Jo’s rudeness to their waitress, the awkward car ride to the theater, Jo’s arm around her shoulders as they watched the movie, and her callousness towards Jo at the very end. Everything right up to her ending up at Mrs. Garrett’s bedroom.

 

“I just don’t know why I’m so mad,” Blair finished. “I mean…it’s what I wanted. I asked for a date like Jo and Nancy’s, and that’s what I got. I got to see how Nancy could’ve fallen for Jo, and that was the entire goal of the evening. So why do I feel so…empty?”

 

Mrs. Garrett rubbed Blair’s back comfortingly. She knew why Blair was upset; hell, she’d known the moment Blair had told her _why_ she’d asked Jo out that the blonde would return upset. She just wanted Blair to figure it out for herself.

 

“Blair,” she said quietly. “I think you know why you’re mad.”

 

Blair stared at their joined hands, thinking hard. It wasn’t that Jo had taken her on the same date. It wasn’t that Jo had treated her amazingly, the way she had Nancy. It wasn’t that Jo had held onto her like she never wanted to let go when they were in the theater, just like she had undoubtedly held Nancy. Blair had asked for all of that. She had asked Jo to do everything with her, she’d wanted the full date-with-Jo experience.

 

Blair’s head shot up, her gaze trained on Mrs. Garrett, and she could tell that Mrs. Garrett had known all along.

 

“I’m not mad at _Jo_ ,” she whispered. Mrs. Garrett shook her head. “I’m mad at _myself_. For even asking Jo to treat me like she’d treated Nancy in the first place.”

 

Mrs. Garrett touched her finger to the middle of Blair’s forehead. “Bingo.”

 

“So why did I take it out on Jo?” Blair’s face crumpled, but she held back her sob.

 

“Because, Blair, you didn’t _know_ you were mad at yourself.” Mrs. Garrett pulled Blair to her and Blair finally let a sob escape. “Blair, sometimes when we don’t know why we’re mad, we might take it out on others. And I think on a subconscious level, you thought that, since you fight with Jo all the time anyways, it would make the most sense to blame your anger on her.”

 

Blair sighed. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter that the whole thing went south anyways.”

 

Mrs. Garrett pulled away slightly. “What do you mean, Blair?”

 

Blair sat up and wiped under her eyes. “Well, she avoided me all week. Between the time that she formally asked me on a date and the actual date, she didn’t speak a word to me. I barely even saw her outside of class.”

 

Mrs. Garrett chuckled. “Blair, Jo wasn’t avoiding you.”

 

Blair cocked her head to the side. “She wasn’t? It sure felt that way.”

 

Mrs. Garrett patted Blair’s forearm twice before squeezing it comfortingly. “Blair,” she said. “How do you think Jo got the money to take you on the date? I mean, you did say you ordered the most expensive thing on the menu...right?”

 

Blair bit her lip. “You mean…she’s been working all week?”

 

“Doing odd jobs, washing cars, cutting grass,” Mrs. Garrett confirmed, a gleam in her eye. “Early in the morning and late into the night.”

 

Well now Blair just felt like straight shit.

 

“So that’s why she wasn’t coming in until after curfew…”

 

Mrs. Garrett shrugged. “I decided to…pretend to be asleep when she snuck in every night.”

 

Blair let a small smile pass, then she frowned again. She thought back to the week before; there had only been a one day gap between the time Jo had asked Nancy out and their actual date, and Jo hadn’t disappeared like she did all the past week. “But she didn’t do that with Nancy,” Blair said slowly. Mrs. Garrett raised an eyebrow that clearly said _duh_. “She went through all of that trouble…just for me?”

 

“Bingo,” Mrs. Garrett repeated.

 

That must have also meant that their date hadn’t been completely the same, either. Clearly Jo had taken Nancy somewhere less fancy for dinner.

 

Blair beamed, but she needed to sort this all out with Jo before getting _too_ happy. “I think I better go talk to Jo.” She hugged Mrs. Garrett and stood. “Thank you.”

 

Mrs. Garrett picked up her book. “Anytime, Blair.”

 

The light still shone under the bathroom door when Blair turned from Mrs. Garrett’s door. She entered her shared room, changed into pajamas, and plopped onto her bed to wait for Jo to return, her stomach turning over nervously.

 

What should she say to Jo? She definitely needed to apologize, but she didn’t think that she could take it if she were wrong about their date being different. Blair felt like Jo would have said something while she was yelling at her.

 

Blair sighed and leaned against the headboard. She looked to Jo’s empty bed, hoping she could find a way to make this work.

 

\-----

 

When nearly three hours had passed without a sight or sound of Jo, Blair, whose eyes were beginning to droop, rose from her bed and padded out the door. The light in the bathroom was off, but Blair checked just in case Jo had decided to sleep in the bathtub. Blair continued down the stairs when she found the bathroom to be empty. The kitchen was also empty, but when she broke through the swinging door, there was Jo, slumped down on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table. Her knees were pointed to the ceiling, an open book rested on them, and Jo was eating a bowl of cereal. She hadn’t changed out of her date clothes, but she had slipped her boots off.

 

Blair glanced at the clock; it was almost one. As she approached, Jo’s grip on her spoon faltered and she dropped most of the corn flakes back into the bowl. She didn’t look at Blair, but Blair knew that Jo was aware of her presence. Jo was sitting in the middle of the couch, so Blair sat gingerly on her right so that their shoulders were just barely touching.

 

They didn’t say a word. Jo continued to eat her cereal and stare at her book, but Blair could tell she wasn’t really reading anymore. She looked genuinely hurt, almost as if she wanted to cry, or maybe disappear. Or maybe she wanted Blair to disappear. Either way, Blair was stunned into silence, scared that anything she said would cause Jo to explode one way or another. Suddenly, Jo stood. She left her book face down on the couch and she disappeared into the kitchen. Blair picked up the discarded book and fiddled with the pages. She wondered if Jo would come back, or if she would go to their room since it was somewhere Blair was not. Just as she had decided to camp on the couch for the night, Jo returned – sans cereal bowl – and took her original position. Wordlessly, Blair handed her the book.

 

She watched Jo for a moment, the way her eyebrows were furrowed a bit, the way she seemed to be waiting for Blair to yell at her, the way she was staying calm, silent; Blair wrapped her arms around Jo’s right arm and snuggled into her side. For a moment, Jo tensed. Blair rubbed her forearm, willing her to relax. When Jo did, Blair snuggled closer and tucked her legs under herself.

 

She read a few lines over Jo’s shoulder; as far as she could tell, the book was about an assassin or some such. It all seemed very boring, so when Jo reached the end of the chapter she’d been reading, Blair reached forward and closed the book. She pulled away, set the book on the table, and offered her hand to Jo. Hesitantly, Jo slipped her hand into Blair’s and allowed Blair to lead her to their room.

 

Blair wished Jo would say something because she sure as hell wasn’t sure how to start. Should she dive right into an apology? Should she lead in with a joke?

 

Moonlight slipped past the curtains, and Blair boldly stepped up to Jo and began to slowly unbutton her shirt. She heard Jo swallow loudly, but her roommate made no move to stop her. When all of the buttons were released, Blair slid the shirt off Jo’s shoulders. Jo caught it just before it hit the floor and tossed it onto the desk. Blair made to reach for Jo’s belt, but pulled back, thinking she’d already overstepped by taking Jo’s shirt off.

 

Jo stared down at her, waiting for her next move. She licked her lips when it became apparent that Blair was going to remain still, and unbuckled her belt before snapping it out of the loops and tossing it on top of her shirt. Blair turned away; in an a-shirt and now-sagging jeans, Jo was making it hard for Blair to restrain herself.

 

Blair padded towards Jo’s bed and pulled back the blankets.

 

“Are we switching beds?” Jo asked slowly, her voice hoarse.

 

Blair shook her head and climbed under Jo’s blankets. “We need to talk.”

 

Jo nodded. Blair marveled at how cooperative she was being. Usually after a blowout, Jo wouldn’t speak civilly towards her for days. Jo climbed in the bed next to Blair and leaned back against the headboard. Blair’s head dropped to Jo’s shoulder, and she was thankful that Natalie and Tootie were out for the night.

 

“Wanna start with why you freaked out on me tonight?” Blair jumped; she hadn’t expected Jo to speak so soon. She laced the fingers of her right hand with Jo’s left, and used her opposite hand to trace the muscle of Jo’s bicep with her index finger, stalling for time. Where should she begin…

 

“I’m sorry,” she said finally. Jo squeezed her hand. “I asked for the same date as Nancy, and I got it…when I was yelling at you, I wasn’t really mad at you; I was mad at myself. I was mad that I had asked to be treated like Nancy in the first place.”

 

Blair felt Jo shrug. “That makes sense. But I wish you woulda talked to me about it.” Jo rubbed her thumb across the back of Blair’s hand.

 

“I know,” Blair whispered.

 

“I woulda told ya that…” Jo hesitated, and Blair squeezed her arm to encourage her to continue. “I woulda told ya that our date…Blair, it was nothing like the date I took Nancy on.”

 

Blair giggled. “Of course it wasn’t; you two probably didn’t fight like cats and dogs,” she joked even as her heart fluttered.

 

Jo laughed. “No,” she said quietly. She crossed her legs at the ankle under the blankets. Jo tugged Blair closer by her hand. “Like, I didn’t bring Nancy a flower.” Blair held her breath. “I didn’t go out and buy a brand new outfit. I didn’t put my arm around her in the theater, or pull her chair out at dinner, or kiss her on the cheek.” Jo’s hand began to shake slightly in Blair’s grip.

 

“You didn’t do odd jobs to be able to afford the date either, did you?”

 

Jo chuckled. “No. No I didn’t.” Blair held onto her hand tighter. “I did all of that just for you. I…wanted our first date to be special.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Blair whispered. “I would have been a better date. Not a petulant child who spitefully orders the most expensive dish on the menu and then ignores you during the last half of the date.”

 

Jo released Blair’s hand and threw her arm around Blair’s shoulders. “Because I genuinely thought you wanted what you asked for. I was afraid you’d be mad if I gave you anything else.”

 

“So you gave me something else secretly.”

 

Blair laid her head on Jo’s shoulder. They were silent for a long moment. If they didn’t say anything else the entire night, Blair was sure this would be the perfect end. Jo had wanted to give her something special, and she had. Nancy didn’t get kisses on the cheek or flowers at the door. Blair sighed and snuggled further into Jo’s side.

 

“I see it,” Blair whispered.

 

“See what?” Jo pulled away slightly, and turned to face Blair as she raised her head. Blair immediately grabbed for Jo’s hand again, ensuring she stayed close.

 

“I see how Nancy could have fallen in love with you.” Blair bit her lip.

 

Jo threw her head back and laughed. “Blair, I think Nancy was just messin’ with ya.” She squeezed Blair’s hand again. “Nancy and I…we didn’t really…what do you say? Click? Yeah, we didn’t click.” Jo bit her lip and looked away for a second. “She’s kind of-”

 

“Boring?”

 

Jo laughed again. “I was going to say pushy.”

 

Blair’s face fell, and suddenly she was angry. “She didn’t push you to do something you didn’t want to do, did she?”

 

“No, no, no.” Jo rubbed Blair’s arm. “We didn’t do anything. At all. But she kept…hinting.”

 

Blair relaxed. Her biggest fear had been that Jo had gone to Nancy’s dorm and they’d spent the night together. Now that that fear had been quelled, Blair could let her mind wander to other things.

 

Thinking it may be a bit too personal, she hesitated before asking, “How was the goodnight kiss?”

 

Jo’s hand twitched in hers. “We didn’t…”

 

Blair caught Jo’s eye. “You didn’t…kiss her?” She laughed, deep in her belly, until tears were streaming down her face. Jo was staring at her curiously, but she was feeling so relieved that she couldn’t explain herself.

 

She settled for laying her head back onto Jo's shoulder, half burying her face in Jo's neck. She sighed against Jo's skin. “I didn't realize it was a real date.” She hoped her tone was apologetic.

 

“I didn't realize it was s'posed to be fake...” Jo whispered, her voice trailing off sadly. Blair felt Jo lay her cheek against the top of her head.

 

Blair laced her fingers with Jo's and felt tears prick at her eyes. She had behaved like such an inconsiderate, spoiled brat, and she was suddenly overwhelmed with regret. “I was such a jerk to you.” Her voice broke, and Jo tightened her hold around Blair's shoulders.

 

“Eh, I was no saint,” Jo replied. “I think we're pretty even.”

 

Blair sniffled and shook her head slightly. “I just...wish we could go back.”

 

She jolted when Jo brought her hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles gently. “Well...we can't,” Jo pointed out softly. “But we could always try again...?”

 

Blair slowly raised her head. “Jo...”

 

Jo met her eyes somewhat hesitantly. “Try again with me, Blair,” she whispered.

 

A tear rolled down Blair's cheek. After such a disastrous night, Blair never imagined Jo would even consider giving her a second chance. She really did have a heart of gold, and Blair vowed not to hurt it this time around. She leaned up slightly and pressed her mouth firmly against Jo's. Jo inhaled sharply, caught off guard by Blair's sudden burst of courage. Recovering quickly, she brought a shaking hand up to cup Blair's cheek, holding her close for a few moments.

 

When they separated, Jo laid her forehead against Blair's. “I'll take that as a yes?”

 

Blair exhaled around a shaky laugh and nodded vigorously. “Of course, you neanderthal.”

 

A large grin split Jo's face, and she leaned in to kiss Blair again.

 

The door burst open, and Jo and Blair ripped their faces away from each other in time to see Natalie enter, Tootie hot on her heels.

 

“Natalie!” Tootie was whining. “You can't be mad, it's not her fault she got sick, it—OOF!” Natalie had stopped short, causing Tootie to slam into her back. “What is wrong with...”

 

Tootie trailed off, having seen what Natalie had.

 

“Hi?” Blair greeted uncertainly.

 

“You're home early,” Jo groused.

 

“So were you,” Tootie was quick to point out, her hand on her hip.

 

“What Tootie means to say,” Natalie interjected as Jo opened her mouth to retort. She was trying – and failing – to hide a cheeky smile. “Is that we were surprised when you guys got home so early. I mean...we figured you'd be in bed...we just figured it'd be a _motel_ bed.” She put her hand up to her mouth and snickered as Jo's ears turned pink.

 

Jo set her jaw, and growled, “Natalie,” but Blair's gentle hand on her arm silenced her.

 

“Why,” Blair began, hoping her frustration was well hidden. “Are the two of you home? We thought you were at the sleepover.”

 

“We were,” Natalie said, shrugging. “But Sarah threw up-”

 

“Oh, c'mon, Nat!” Jo scrunched her face up.

 

“And the sight of it made three other girls throw up,” Natalie continued, unperturbed. “So Mr. Parker made us all return to our own dorms.”

 

As Natalie and Tootie began to fight over who was going to shower first, Blair looked to Jo and smiled. Jo squeezed her hand before allowing her to rise.

 

Blair wasn't sure what would happen next. She wasn't sure of what they were or what they could be. All she knew was that she and Jo had a fresh start ahead of them. And she intended not to mess it up.

 


End file.
